Social skills include the 4 pillars of respect, honesty, gentleness, and patience says our expert mother and author. Keep reading to find out her mistakes and solutions. Tara Kennedy-Kline ~ Author of Stop Raising Einstein
We hold 4 pillar principles in our home:
1. We are respectful 2. We are honest 3. We are gentle 4. We are patient
The reason for the 4 pillars is simply that when my children were small and I was on a mission to be the 'perfect parent' (which I have since found would be similar to a mission to be Barbie)
I created rules for everything and those rules were to be followed to the letter. One day when I was feeling completely overwhelmed and frustrated, I realized that my frustration was based on the fact that all I did with my children was enforce rules!
I felt like I was constantly scolding them or correcting them and saying "my rules":
1. We don't yell at our brother.
2. We don't say things like that.
3. We don't make a mess at the table.
4. We don't throw our paper on the floor.
5. We don't leave our toys lay around.
6. We don't, we don't, we don't...
The epiphany was, "My children weren't setting out to disobey me. I simply had too many rules."
Our 4 pillars are the unbreakable principles of our family
They are the virtues that we will model & enforce because these are the lessons we want our children to carry with them for life.
Other mistakes, messes and "life" will happen and we will choose whether they are something to correct, laugh at or learn from (in some cases all apply) but with our pillars are our foundation.
We can pick our battles and if we as parents choose to engage in one, our children are clear on what line they have crossed to get us there."